Elder financial abuse has been getting a lot of attention of late. This shouldn’t be surprising, given the “perfect storm” of circumstances that have made many seniors an easy mark for unscrupulous exploiters. What many people don’t realize is that most of these cases don’t involve thieves who are strangers. It’s a family affair. The faltering economy has been hard on households. Grown children who might have otherwise moved out of the house to pursue the American Dream are paralyzed, frustrated by the lack of job opportunities. Mom and Dad are living longer, so their inheritance can’t be relied upon—it’s not going to be available any time soon. Added to the mix is the unfortunate truth that some of these adult children have substance abuse or mental health issues. And to make matters worse, one or both parents may suffer from age-related cognitive impairment. These folks aren’t in a position to detect if money is being drained from their accounts or property is missing. Others who are sharp as a tack may not recognize that theft at the hands of a family member is a crime.

Stealing from Mom and Dad isn’t usually a scenario that happens all at once. It’s a slow moving disease. A parent needs help with housework or bill-paying, and a few extra “gift” checks are written. And then maybe a few are forged, “because Mom or Dad would want me to have it.” Cash may disappear from a wallet or secret hiding spot. Jewelry goes missing. Or perhaps a relative who has power of attorney feels that it’s okay to take a few hundred, here or there, because “time spent helping Mom or Dad has been extensive,” or “none of the siblings have helped,” and “how else will Mikey go to college…” Still others may help themselves to valuables because they know they’re in the will. So what’s the problem if they take what they’re getting anyway—a little early? Grand Larceny is the problem.

Just as domestic violence wasn’t recognized as a crime 20 years ago, many folks don’t realize that adult children can be charged with theft for stealing from their parents or grandparents. They’re subject to the same theft laws, and there is no legal defense that exempts them from prosecution if they’re a blood relative.

Of course, many people believe that stealing from elderly relatives is the most shameful kind of theft of all.